How To Know If The Right Kind of Guy Likes You: The Christian Edition
Let me start by saying yes, this particular article is largely focused on helping Christian women (both blossoming and elderly). This is just a quick “how to” guide but it may not contain the solution to EVERY problem there is. This is not to exclude men by being biased, or make them feel inadequate, if anything it will help them better understand some of the qualities that women look for when searching for the devout, God-fearing, potential spouse. I feel like a lot of Christian women have had this issue, including me. We set out with the best of intentions in finding our ONE, but when we set our sights on someone worth having, we’re unsure of how to proceed. So based mainly on experience, a satisfactory amount of research, and the leading of the Holy Spirit, I believe I have found the answers to our most sought out questions, ladies. Here they are!
1. He shows evidence of his belief.
When I say he shows evidence of his belief, I definitely don’t mean that he just comes to church on Sunday. I mean he has a relationship with God. Basically, how invested is he at church? Where is his pride during praise and worship? Does he reflect someone who’s trying get to closer to God, or someone who lacks the fruits of the spirit? Don’t expect him to be perfect, of course, but look for at least 2 out of those 3.
2. He values your hobbies.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing.” This means that we should show each other support in order to prove the love of God is in our lives. If a man takes an interest in the things you enjoy, especially if it’s shopping or knitting or romantic comedies, that means he sees you as valuable. He’s chosen to spend time learning about you. Make sure to let him know in some way that you appreciate that.
3. He doesn’t push you to do things you don’t want to.
I can’t stress how important it is to have a man who understands boundaries. If you’ve established boundaries with him before the two of you started dating, or even just as friends, it’s enough. He shouldn’t be pressuring to change your mind on doing something that is in any way unsafe. There are certain instances in relationships when compromise will be required, but God will reveal the time for that.
4. He understands that you need time alone with God.
Someone who has a spiritual walk of their own will definitely understand when you can’t go out every night, text them back every 5 minutes, or play hooky from church after a trial-filled week. A man who respects your relationship with God shows signs of maturity, and even more than that, he knows your worth waiting for. Even if it’s just a little while.
5. He understands family and tradition
Ladies, we all know the way a man treats his mother is the way he’ll treat you. But not just his mother, his father, grandparents, siblings, etc. A man who is looking to settle down will always make time for the central people in his life; he understands family heirlooms, Christmas tree lightings, AND sacrifice.
6. He changes for you.
You always ALWAYS want a man to be himself around you. (I.E., he’s okay with telling you his most personal thoughts, and isn’t insecure having emotions). If a man really cares about you, he’ll never let you go. He’ll understand that outside the walls of compromise, there are some situations that can’t be overlooked. What he decides to do about that will determine whether or not you should pursue him further.
7. He listens.
In my opinion, a man has nothing without a good heart. Sometimes when people ask you how you are doing, they expect you to immediately say you’re doing fine. But if you say, “Well actually, now that you mention it, my boss was really rude today and I don’t know understand why. I feel so unappreciated…”, you’ll be able to weed out the ones who have “no time”. It’s the same with your potential spouse. He should remember what you said you wanted for your birthday, or the name of your favorite movie. When you begin seeing signs of this, count yourself as one of the truly lucky ones.
Well I hope this list helps clear up some confusion out there. Remember to follow your instincts, and I believe you will find a man to love with his whole heart and see you for all of the truly amazing qualities you possess. For the men reading this, now you know. Get out there and be a blessing!