Resolution – [rez-uhloo-shuh n] The act of resolving or determining upon an action, course of action, method, procedure, etc; a resolve; a decision or determination.

      So lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about future, like everyone else I guess. I’ve been trying to figure out what my desires are for this next chapter in my life. As I’ve hinted at in some of my other posts, it’s been a struggle for me. For awhile, I had my heart set on something and I knew I was going to get it. I had found my calling, and a place that I could home with a caring family. But as most of you know, life sometimes gets in the way of these things and it ended up all falling through. It’s taken so much just for me to get through these past few months. I had to regroup and let my heart heal from all the regret and pain. So now I find myself with several options I’m considering for 2017. Usually when I have too many options in front of me I find it overwhelming, but this time, it’s a little comforting. I’ve been trying to hear from God for so long to tell me what to do, and I feel like I’m finally hearing something back. Nothing is for sure, but I know whatever I do, I want to do for Him.

       A lot has changed this year, for the U.S. and for the world. So I know a lot of people are asking themselves what could possibly be next. Some are still upset, some are optimistic. Me? I’m always the optimistic type, especially at the end of the year. I can’t be too upset whenever I’m surrounded by people I care about and an atmosphere of euphoria and elevation. I anticipate something to change each year. I expect something good. Proverbs 13:12 in the word says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” That word “deferred” means delayed, negotiated, or postponed. It also means, “put on a shelf”. So what happens to things that are kept on the shelf for too long? They’re forgotten about. They collect dust and dirt. You put things on top of them until it’s like it was never there. Therefore, I would like to encourage anyone reading this to not lose hope. It’s the easiest thing in the world to lose hope, and it takes work to get it back, but it’s so fulfilling when you do.

      I have this thing that I started doing, and I think I’m going to continue to do in the coming years. You might think it’s kind of silly, but I really enjoy it. I write my resolutions down, fold it up, stick it in a balloon filled with helium, and send it off at midnight New Year’s Eve. The idea is to symbolize faith that these things really will come to pass soon, even if it’s not all in one year. Last year, I put out some pretty heavy decrees, and some of them have actually come to pass. If you’re demanding something of yourself, my advice is to be firm but also be patient with yourself. Don’t put yourself down if you’re trying to lose weight and you’re 5 pounds off on your goal date. I’ve seen some people want it so bad, that they’ve push themselves too hard, even to the point of injury. Congratulate yourself on the 20 pounds you did lose, that’s a great accomplishment! Sometimes you have to focus on the 90% to keep yourself going. So with that said, I’m going to share with you guys, in a gist, the things I really want to have happen this coming year:

1. To be more alert. I feel like over the past 3 years, I’ve lost my sense of vigilance. Maybe due to stress and the negative thoughts that come with it. Somehow I let my problems become bigger than me, when I used to always be on top of things. But I want to be better than I was in that way, living life but also really seeing the details in front of me. I think it will really affect my outlook on the future.

2. To find my purpose in God. I probably won’t be a missionary, despite the fact that I love the work that they do. I’ve always loved doing youth outreach and female empowerment through things like mass media and graphic design, but I do want to try different things. I really enjoy feeding the homeless and being a light to them in any way possible. I was a part of a ministry a little while ago that did that, and you could tell how much it meant to the people just to have us smile and pray with them. It’s a chain reaction. Whatever I do, I want it to make me successful in ways other dollar bills.

3. Make peace with the past. I’m unsure yet what this will entail, but I plan on doing something soon. It may mean communicating with people I haven’t talked to in awhile, or it may mean moving on with my life completely. No matter how much it hurts to deal with your failures and regrets, you have to take action. Otherwise it will rot away at you until you have nothing left but your “what ifs”.

4. See my family and friends succeed. Everyone wants this. I have a big heart for the people in my life. I have prayed for people, sometimes for more than a year about the same thing and I’ve seen it fulfilled in time. As I continue to pray for those I hold dear, I hope to see something change in their lives this year in a positive way.

5. Listen more, learn more. I feel like I’m a pretty good listener. I can listen to people talk for hours. But what do I really retain from what they’ve said? I think I could do a little better with hearing and asking more questions.

6. Saying No. I have this really big problem with saying no. I hate disappointing people and I can get really down on myself if I do. But standing up for myself is something I’m learning to do for me. Although I love to help, if I honestly can’t, I won’t.

7. Focus on me. I take this one very seriously. I want to focus on bettering myself this year and learning all kinds of new things. New recipes, new languages, new hobbies. This is going to be my year of “wiping the slate clean” so to speak. I think I said in a previous article that dating is something I won’t be doing for LONG while, unless a miracle occurs. All that really matters to me is getting my life in order and making God happy.

     So there it is, my life as I wish it would be. I hope everyone reading this would take the time to do the same thing I’m doing. I absolutely think you will feel more accomplished and goal-oriented by doing so. Just ask yourself what you hold valuable in your life and I think you’ll find the answer. Thanks to you guys for reading, and if you have any questions at all or just need prayer, leave a comment below. Or you can also find me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. I hope all of you have the happiest new year ever.