I’m just going to come out and say. It’s not really a secret, just hard to admit. I think I’ve gone on like this long enough…I am terrible at making decisions quickly. I mean, eventually, I will make a decision, but it usually takes a lifetime for me to make. If I’m at the store trying to decide what to cook for the week, I sometimes stand in an aisle for hours, going back and forth from chicken to steak to pasta. It puts me in a panic sometimes as I think to myself, why am I freaking out over food? The saddest part is, sometimes I don’t even pick the options I’ve set out for myself. Lately, I’ve been feeling this way about my life. It seems like I can’t seem to make the big decision that I know will affect my life in the future.
God is so good in the way that He has guided me in every area in my life. I was lost this past year in so many ways, and now I realize that things turned out for the best. If things had gone the way that I wanted them to..I would probably be really screwed right now. So it’s by the grace of God that I’m still here, but where exactly is here? I feel like now that I’ve gotten past at least some of the issues I’ve been having, I don’t know where to go from here. Should I go back to school? Should I travel? Should I move? Should I volunteer more at church? I could probably only answer one of these questions, the rest are a bunch of question marks.
So I’ve been praying like crazy for God for answer as to what I should do at this moment in my life. I know what my passions are, obviously writing, but also singing and video editing (otherwise known as media management). I want to use all of these gifts for God, not just sit on them all day, unsure of what to do. (Matthew 25:14–30) I do put out content on YouTube, which I love doing. YouTube is such an amazing platform to express yourself on and find people from all around the world to connect with. But it can be kind of frustrating when you see your friends moving forward, and you’re still stuck in a rut. So how do you cope?
In the meantime, I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can about the things that I love so that when it’s time to put them use, I’m prepared. I watch what other people do, and look up things I might have questions on. That’s really all you can do when you’re stuck in limbo. another really important part is keeping your hope alive. It is so easy to lose hope when you’re waiting for that breakthrough, especially if you don’t know how much longer it’s going to be before you get there. None of us are Dorothy skipping down a yellow-brick road set out before us. We can all get lost on the way to where we’re going. But if you keep your mind on positive things like the word of God, instead of on what you’re lacking it helps a lot. Sometimes God wants to see how obedient you’ll be when there isn’t money in the bank or gas in the car. We as Christians have to learn when God is testing us.
I just wanted to write this short blog because it’s really been on my mind lately, so I thought I’d put out some encouragement. No matter what, I keep pushing past all the confusion and uncertainty to make the decisions that are best for me. I used to make decisions for my life based on other people, until I started to realize the value in my life. If you’ve struggled with being in a rut, be sure to comment down below on how you’ve dealt or are dealing with it. It’s always better if you have people around you who know what to do in these situations and can lift you up. I love you guys so much and appreciate all the support I’ve been getting. I hope you have a blessed and amazing week!
P.S., here’s the link to my YouTube if you guys are interested.
The Third 7even: