Soooo…all I have to say is that life has been quite hectic as of late. I can’t even get started on all of the changes that have taken place in just the past three weeks. Some have been good, some, not so good. I’m just gonna right into it because I’ve been dying to tell someone about it all week. So here it goes.
First things first, I’ve decided that I’m going back to college in the coming year. This was a really big decision to make and I was hesitant to do it at first, but in the end, I felt like it made the most sense. I’ve been praying about it like crazy for the past couple of months, feeling mostly anxiety because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted. I don’t like to feel like I’m settling on something, or that I’m stuck somewhere. I’m the kind of person that needs to get out, live life, and do things. If I don’t, it’s easier for depression to walk back in to my life, as I talked about in a past article Depression. I felt confined to only a few options, because I was scared of doing something to throw me off the path that God wants me on. I had heard about that happening to people before, and I was terrified. (Still kinda am) But I’ve finally started applying to a couple of universities where I think I’ll fit in. Some are Christian colleges, but the one thing they all have in common is that they’re in California. I plan to stay in Cali for awhile, accept when visiting friends. That’s another decision that has taken me some time to make, but I feel pretty confident in it.
The second big thing I wanted to touch on that some of you guys might know about is my grandma. I had said in a video I posted on Youtube about a month ago that my grandma wasn’t doing too well. She’s had arthritis almost her whole life and now it’s started to spread to other place in her body, like her skull. She is constantly getting headaches and has to make appointments to get a massage because she can’t sit up straight without her back hurting. I had asked for prayer in that video I posted, which is not something I usually do, but I felt very helpless about the situation. To update you guys on that, she’s doing a little bit better than she was. She’s able to walk and carry things without help, but she still has pain her back and weakness in her arms. She’s the kind of person who doesn’t want people helping her (sounds familiar). I’m continuing to pray for a full restoration of her body, and I’ve asked some friends to pray, too. Until then, I try to do what I can and have faith that she will be able to live out the rest of retired life in peace.
Thirdly, I learned that a friend of mine from Virginia just recently overdosed on drugs. Yeah. That was kind of hard to take in. This person and I weren’t as close as we could have been, but it still affected me a great deal. She was a really sweet woman who had children and a boyfriend. It was very tragic and unexpected. So I took some time to think over that and mourn a bit. I’m the kind of person who will put so much pressure on myself when it comes to helping people. I’ll think about what I could’ve done to help, or what more I could’ve said. But in the end, I always reach the same conclusion, which is that that person wouldn’t want me or anyone else to beat themselves up over what can’t be changed. I’ve learned that it’s best to remember all the good times with that person, even if there are just a few. You never forget the person or people, but you learn to move on from the sadness and regret and let God heal your wounds.
And lastly, I’m gonna catch you up on this past week, which was a total mess. I got up early last Sunday, just like any other Sunday. I have to get a head start before anyone else (because, of course, I’m a girl and these things take time). I started on my face routine just as everyone started waking up. Everything went smooth until I heard my name being belched from what I could only guess was the highest point of heaven. I came rushing into the kitchen to see my mom and brother surrounded by a trashcan lined with ants. But not just around the trash! They we’re under the sink and crawling up and down cans of lysol and bleach. Needless to say, nobody was happy about it. To make a long story short, we didn’t end up going to church (and I had really needed church that Sunday), and we spent half the day taking everything out from under the sink. We’re pretty clean people, but it was because of the heat that these little guys decided to find shelter in our house. Then we sprayed it down with water and sprayed underneath that cabinet until not one ant was left crawling. After that, I mopped the floor (which I HATE to do), and then I proceeded to go for a walk. Things can get kind of tense in the house after stuff like that happens so I knew I needed time away. It ended up being fine in the end, but I didn’t much feel like writing after all that had taken place. I always need time to process when I’m overwhelmed.
So here I am after all that, and I’m feeling pretty good. Life’s still not perfect and I’m pretty sure it never will be. But God is still good, and I know that His plan for my life exceeds any attacks from the enemy. I’m praying that He will guide me to make the right decisions in my life and learn to trust myself, as I continue to stay in The Word and worship. I would encourage all of you who are going through similar situations to do the same. Thank you all so much for your support through all of this, it’s truly a blessing to have this platform where I can share my experiences and grow with all of you. I hope you all have a great rest of the week and remember to give every little problem to the only one who can solve them.
P.S., here’s the link to the YouTube video I was talking about if you’re interested. Sorry about the emotions, I don’t usually show that much in front of other people. The stress just got me that day. Love y’all!