Anger makes me cry, anger makes me laugh, anger makes me lie..anger makes me do a lot of things. I’m sure you clicked on this blog post today to hear me talk about how to get rid of anger completely, how to make it so you never feel that shaking rage on the inside of your soul again. I’m here to tell you that there’s no such thing as getting rid of anger. Everyone gets angry, and everyone shows it in a different way. But not every way is the right way.
This all-consuming emotion is something I’ve struggled with for many years. For the most part, it has gotten better, but it still rears it’s ugly head at the worst moments ever. It all depends on what the person is saying to me at that time. Most times I can keep my cool during an argument, but when once someone makes me feel really insecure about who I am as a person…BOOM.
It feels like my bones start to shake inside me. The space right below my chin starts to get really hot. I get a tension headache to the point where my head feels like it’s going to explode. How do you control something like that, especially when the person doesn’t seem to care about your feelings?
I feel a lot of shame when I get too angry, because I know that I have a certain standard to live up to. The verse that comes to mind when I think of anger is Proverbs 29:11, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” I know I make mistakes and that’s okay, but when my anger causes me to lie or throw insults out at people, that’s when I know it’s getting too real. So, because this is still something I struggle with, I’ve decided I’m going to try at different tactic. These are some of the things came up with for me to try when I feel myself losing control, and I hope that it helps anyone reading this, too:
1. Breathe Deeply & Exhale. This seems like a pretty obvious one, but you would be surprised how easy it is to forget to breathe when you’re angry. That’s probably the reason I get so light-headed. Trust me, even the incredible Hulk wouldn’t mess with me! But breathing and thinking about something that makes you happy instead of what’s happening in the moment can definitely make a difference.
2. Realize that no one can make you feel anything that you don’t to feel. This is a big one for me, and something that someone said to me a while back. If you don’t want to feel a certain way, you don’t have to. YOU have control over your own emotions, so if someone insults you, you don’t have to respond to it. That’s there truth, and if it doesn’t edify you in any way (if it isn’t to help you), you don’t have to take it in.
3. Think about how you will feel later on. Your feelings about a situation may change later on. You may realize that it wasn’t such a big deal, or maybe that it was a big deal but that instead you should said something else. That has happened to me plenty of times! It might’ve been a calm, peaceful Sunday about an hour ago, and then something happens to try to mess it up. Sometimes I just try to forget that something happened so I don’t have to have it on my mind all day.
I had this revelation a couple of days ago when I was really upset about something. I took an extra long walk around the block, sat in the park for a bit, and then I prayed for God to help me calm down. As I sat with my eyes closed, focusing hard on God, something happened on the inside of me that I knew wasn’t my doing. All of the anger I had felt before no longer consumed me in such a violent way. I felt it slip from my body, and instead I felt the love of Christ pressing down on my heart. Who can feel so much anger when love is pouring out over you, taking away the bad memories. After that shift, I was okay. I went back home and did something actually productive. This doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna have problems anymore, but I’m learning now as I get older, that giving stuff to God is way WAAAAY easier than dealing with it alone. So I hope that you guys can relate to what I’m saying (I’m pretty sure most of you can). The day is just too short to let these little things stand in the way of your purpose. So I hope you’ll join me on this mission to being a better person every single day. Love you guys so SO much, and I hope you have an amazing rest of the week! (And happy 4th of July if you’re in the U.S.) XOXO.
P.S., here’s an example of the wrong way to handle things, and something that makes me cry-laugh when I’m mad.